As I move on...

I have started to reach out to people left behind at my last position. Yes, I am disappointed in what has happened, and really thought I'd be there moving forward forever, but the time is past to be disappointed and to move forward.

Especially since the job search process in this economy is so overwhelming. So many people looking and competing for jobs.

However, it is better to focus on what can and will be, not on what was not nor why it wasn't.

So, for those of you who are looking into my resume and activities, I hope you see the passion, love, and fire that I can bring to your company's growth and profitability. Once you have me, you have me all the way, and hiring me can be the start of a beautiful freindship, to quote a favorite movie of mine.

Come and get me. It is more than worth the effort.

Adrian

The "Write" Thing To Do

When you put in 27 years in one industry, you either gather “comfort” dust, hiding in the margins doing the same job sufficiently over and over, or you find other nooks and crannies of the business to try out.


Back in the mid-80's, when I was working for Video Wonderland and Movie World in Ardmore and Philly, I met Douglas Kircshner and Steven Apple, who published a video industry trade magazine called VIDEO INSIDER. I had been in this business for about a year or so, but I knew my movies and I knew my videos.

As such, through conversations, I was invited to write, of all things, a children’s video column for the magazine. I wrote it for a couple of years, looking at kids video through a businessman’s eye. Since this was the era of cheap, crap VHS, there were a ton of kids videos being released everyday, and many, if not most, weren’t worth it, but there were some gems. It was my mission to sort these out intelligently and profitably, and I think I did a great job.

If you read more than a little of my missives, you will see that I have a “full steam ahead” style, kind of a stream of consciousness style. I try to write off the cuff, and find that if I have to think too long about a topic, it ain’t gonna show. My best work, if you can call it that, are the musings that come out of the moment.

I tend to agonize over what to write, because I want to interest you, the reader, but I don’t want to bullshit you, my friends. So, it may be days or weeks between writing something, because I have to please you. However, I also want to please me, so I will share things that I hope you find interesting, and if not know, and least entice you to come back next time.

With INSIDER, the same things would happen. I’d agonize over columns, not happy with what I wrote because it seemed forced and phony. Many deadlines were pressed because what I wrote didn’t entice me in the end, so why should it interest you? Of course, that need to do something unique and interesting, and not just rote, could cause problems.

Also, I was a retailer at the time, not a journalist. My interest was the latest news and rumors. I later learned the protocol to keep the publicists happy, but there were a few times that I broke a new product line or promotion before the studio wanted the news out there, so the studio heads bitched and I got chastised. But, I did my best, and think some of my columns were pretty sweet.

During my short tenure, I interviewed Shari Lewis, Itzhak Perlman, Raffi, and surprisingly, Frank Zappa, among others. My favorite was a phone call with MisterRogers. What was scheduled for 10 minutes went onfor over an hour, as we talked about all sorts of things, and I got to interview the other denizens of his Neighborhood. Fred Rogers even spent 10 minutes talking with my brother, Tommy, who was 15 at the time, including talking to King Friday.

In the end, my column and eventually VIDEO INSIDER disappeared. There is only one video industry trade mag now, HOME MEDIA RETAILING , with Video Business closing down this year. These are and were the trusted sources for industry news. There are plenty of blogs and self-starters, but very few of those have my trust.

So, there you have it. A little look into my storied past. I would love to write for real again someday, not just a blog, so who knows? But first, to get my foot back on the video industry door…

YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNEW YOUR NAME.

I’M BA-ACK. Gonna do a post in the next couple of days to bring those who are interested up to date, but of course, since this is the second surgery of the two, now I have new future hurdles to face.

And no, I haven’t taken my Percocet’s yet.

If you work one job long enough, you tend to find your circle of friends begin to revolve around that job. Yes, you still have your lifelong friends who will always be there, but after 27 years in the video business, you get a quarter century of friends from all over the place.

Are these sticky friends (ewww)? Strangely, you will find that the ones who you felt closest to during the employed age wind up being the distant shore that is unreachable, and that those who you may not have had the biggest amount of contact surprise you with their presence.

Is this a case of mistaken identity, or is it something else? Guess.

It is something else.

More often than not, you tend to place a greater emphasis and level of expectation on those that you work or talk with the most. You see them more, you talk to them more, you work with them more. That begins to be a bad assumption.

For good reasons and bad, these people who are not expected to drift away, who should still be there for you, wind up losing the shared experiences and needs, and become nothing more than the past. Once you lose the experience, you lose the connection.

I had been doing a small program for some video friends during my surgery that happened to have deadlines that fell when I was busy with medical issues. It was a program that I helped with in the past, but never quite agreed with the purpose. Still, it occupied my time and hopefully kept me sharp.

Finally, seeing how the second surgery has gone, and needing to start devoting my time to the job hunt, I decided to bow out.

Sending a letter to the panel, I honestly outlined my reasons. Good, short letter, for those who think I cannot keep it short.

From this panel of 4, I received one reply, from the person who I felt was my best friend on it, a fellow video retailer who had worked with us on some major initiatives. I’ve known this person for well over 15 years, and saw them at least two to three times a year (They are out of state).

We worked strategy for VSDA indie retailers and for ourselves. We felt like a team, and trust me, we had some very big internal and external challenges.

So, this was the only one who replied back. Want to know what the reply was?

“OK, Good luck, buddy”.

That’s it. I expected more, so of course, the rest of last night, I wondered why the answer had been so short. This was a friend, after all.

Then, of course, it became obvious. This was not a reply that is deficient. It was my expectations that were probably overblown. He answered, and even though the brevity hurt, it was complete. It also showed that you cannot always go back again.

So, while I am saddened by the realization of the extent of this particular friendship, it is another learning experience that will help in the job search.

I am looking for work, and experience that I can participate in, excel at, and move up with.

I am not in the marketplace for a new friend. If it develops, great, but expectations are now adjusted.

It's my sister Julie's birthday! Yeah, you heard me!

My sister owes me a lot. A LOT. Without me, who would she find to spend her valuable time on consoling, helping, driving, prodding, teasing, and cleaning up after?

That’s right. Without me, she’d have to waste time finding someone else as dependent on her.

Hey, she owes me! She made me take her to see the BAY CITY ROLLERS on the old STEEL PIER. OMG!!! I never want to see “tartan plaid” again. S-A-TUR-DAY—NIGHT—my ass!!!

But you know what? She would never find someone who loves their sister as much as me. Call me old-fashioned. Shut it.

Julie, a/k/a/ Julzma on Dunder Mifflin Infinity, has been my sister for 48 years today. The fact that she made it this far means that I never meant all those horrible taunts and tricks that kid siblings do to each other.

Julie is now the defacto mother figure for our family, since my mom passed in 1994. Julie is a social and medical planner, our dietician, our confessor, our moderator, our taxi, and the person to buy my dads daily numbers.

We couldn’t survive without her.

The best thing about this sister is her resiliency. Her own problems, and she has them, some unfairly exhausting, never push us to the back. I like to think that our neediness helps her when her own issues come to the fore.

No, I am wrong. The best this about my sister, Julie, is that she is my sister Julie.

I’m keeping this short because she would want it that way. The best way to learn about her, her husband, daughter, son, and three yappy dachshunds, is to friend her here on FACEBOOK (Julie Hickman Guaraldo) and wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, That is your foot in the door to a friendship with the most wonderful person you may ever know.

And JoeD still hounds her for payment for a roast beef sandwich from decades ago!

Happy birthday and Groundhogs Day, Sis!

I'm With Coco, as well (except when Craig Ferguson is on)

Watching Conan O’Brien these days is a real pleasure. This issue has brought back the Conan that we all know and love.

I actually watched Leno tonight, and he gave such a weak defense of what is going on, making sure to point out that Conan’s ratings have not been good. It was an “I have a boo-boo, too” defense.

You know what, these last few weeks are the perfect example of why the ratings haven’t been there, and now his ratings are growing by leaps and bounds. Because of the NBC crap, Conan has finally been able to make THE TONIGHT SHOW his own. He is no longer protecting the “franchise” by following in the chinstraps of Leno. For the last couple of weeks, he has been fearless, he has been funny, he has been everything that we love about Conan.

Even tonight, while it is toned down a bit, he still is doing the material that makes THE TONIGHT SHOW truly earn the “STARRING CONAN O’BRIEN” tagline.

His first guest is Scorsese. He has already shown the I’M WITH COCO rally in LA, complete with LaBamba waving to the crowd inside of his very own popemobile.

Finally, after seven months, he no longer has to tone down his act. He is wonderful now, and people are tuning in. Sadly, in a few days, it will be over, and it will be back to pretending that this was another “BOBBY’S DREAM” episode of DALLAS and now all is back to normal. For Jay, and THE TONIGHT SHOW, and for NBC, it is back to normal, with normal equated to boring.

For Conan, who knows, other than I will be ready when he comes back.
As for me, this has been a real learning experience. I am more determined to make sure that, as I go forward in whatever job I can find, I do it with gusto, with humor, with determination, but also make sure that I am doing it as I know how, with the added correction of making sure that my future bosses are very aware that my talent is what will help them, not my fitting a previous mold.

For wherever Conan winds up, these last few shows are cementing his capabilities. I intend to do the same.

And who knows, if NBC keeps his “intellectual properties” and he can no longer use THE MASTURBATING BEAR, I am always available to lend a “hand.”


***BTW, a trivia question. I mentioned that Scorsese was a guest tonight, and I mentioned the phrase BOBBY’S DREAM. There is a connection between the two here. What is it?

For my mother and my brother, JP, who both shared today as their wonderful birthdays,

Walk On, Walk On

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone….

Today, January 9th, is a special day in the Hickman household. At one time in our lives, it was a tremendous day for celebration. My mother, Juliana Marie Hickman (maiden name Loughery) and my brother, James Patrick Hickman were both born today, January 9th (different years, of course). My mother was born in 1929 and my brother was born in 1953.

It is a special occurrence when two happy occasions like family birthday fall on the same day. Expensive, yes, but very, very precious and special.

My mother, Juliana, was a wonderful person, and you would expect me to say that, but I dare anyone to prove me wrong. She was blessed with a spectacular operatic voice, one of such wonder and beauty that she appeared as a child on local radio shows, and had a chance at a contract with the CBS Radio Network.

She loved Gilbert And Sullivan operettas and anything Wagner. Her favorite was TRISTAN AND ISOLDE. However, she also met the love of her life, my dad, and that created choices that she had to make.

I am confident and proud to say that she chose correctly, because she became our mother. She gave up the dream of professional singing, but still sang, both around the house and around the area. We are Roman Catholic, but for almost 20 years, she sang at TEMPLE ZION on Pine Rd. in Huntington Valley, just outside of Philly. When I was a kid, I would accompany her, because we would have flounder dinners at the Quaker Diner on Rising Sun Ave. However, it would also allow me the thrill of hearing her join others who held a different faith, still realize the beauty of that faith to the fullest.

She put six kids through school, facing the myriad tough times and many great times, and she was always there for us. She is much like my sister is, in that she would also do for you, not because you expected, but because she knew that you needed it. All of the Hickman kids, grandkids, and great grandkids possess this trait.

So many wonderful memories of her in Longport NJ every summer (when we could afford Longport,), Disney World, and finally, two trips to paradise, Hawaii.

And, when you thought she could deliver nothing more beautiful, she gave us my wonderful brother Tommy at the age of 42. A tough C-section, and beset with physical problems the rest of his life, she still never looked at him as anything other than her son, she made sure he got to school, danced at the school dance, watched his favorite sports, enjoying life to the fullest.

In 1993, she got to see her beloved Phillies get to the World Series. On her birthday in 1994, she took ill. A month later, on Valentines Day, she left us in body, but absolutely not in life and spirit. My dad has never shown any interest in anyone else. She is the love of his life. Her lessons and presence are still part of our everyday world.

In other words, she never stopped being our mother in life or in the afterlife.

JP, or Jimmy, was her second son, and one ahead of me. Jimmy was a free spirit who loved music and loved life. Of all of us, he was the one who knew how to live life with everyone else, not in spite of everyone else. Tommy and JP were extremely close, and I have pictures of Tommy spending nights at JP’s apartment.

JP was total charm, and even in the worst times, he would be the brightest light and could convince you that any situation is not as bad as you might think. He was a bit reckless, but he still stayed family, and precious family at that. If you loved life, you loved JP. JP was gay, and he was my brother and our family.

One year, he was managing a Bridget Foys at 2nd and South when a windstorm came along. In trying to get everyone inside, he rushed to roll up the awnings. He was upswept by a windblast, came down and shattered his spine. This led to many more medical problems, and eventually led to a weakened immune system.

JP was in and out of the hospital, but still was able to live on his own, very close to the family, but still independent. Finally, it all caught up, and he wound up in Lankenau with many different things adding up to big things, including pneumonia and being HIV-positive. He spent months at Lankenau. One day, we were a few minutes delayed , and he passed away just before we walked into his hospital room.

So, the Hickman family lost January 9th, or so we thought. However, as the years go on, what January 9th brought our lives was much stronger that what was physically taken away.

So, Happy Birthday, Mom and JP, from the family who still makes even the worst situation work, and who has never forgotten our mother’s joy of being with others.



Walk on, through the wind,


Walk on, through the rain,


Though your dreams be tossed and blown.


Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,


And you'll never walk alone,


You'll never walk alone.

.